mikeone.

Yo. Seeing as today is a People I Love day and I am now afraid to miss another day, I figured I would do this early instead of late at night. I really should have a better plan for who I am going to write about for these. Also, I am almost positive that I don't love 14 people. Is that okay? I figure I would rather love a few people a lot than love a lot of people a little. Or even love a lot of people a lot. I don't know.

Anyway, today is going to be about Michael Christopher Brennan. Lately, my brain has been finding it difficult to conceptualize time. The fact that over two years ago, At the Terminal was just starting. He was just the cute, quiet, little drummer from New Jersey. And I was still this too obnoxious, too loud, too angry girl. I have no doubt that he was 100% afraid of me. But at the same time, just six months after the first ATT show, he was all I had in the world. That was really when we became the friends that we are now. Going to and from school everyday, being there at each other's worst times of the day. I know what could have very well happened if he hadn't been in the car on some of those days.

Like everyone else in the world, sometimes we hate each other. I've never really cared, like some people do, about his drifting habits. I think it's healthy to get away from people sometimes. The major problems we ever had revolved around our different opinions on who I chose to associate with last year. But, in the end, it's whatever.

He's still the cute one. Not so shy anymore. I have always just wanted the best for him, more than the others because sometimes I feel like he needs someone to believe in him more. Everyone needs therapy sometimes, and I like being someone's person and them being mine. Life is weird the ways in which it brings people to you. And the desperateness with which you hold onto them. I love mikeone because of everything he is (even if he doesn't like it), and who we are together and the foreverness he makes me feel about things.

Writing these is so much more about myself than about the people in them. I feel like there has to be some reason it's these people. Or that I am trying to recall what makes me happy. As I was writing this I remembered how I had creative writing 9th mod junior year next door to the room in which mikeone and Larry had study hall and I would wait for them to come out at the end of the day to walk upstairs with mikeone (because Larry and I, afterall, were just casual friends). And as we walked upstairs, we (mostly them) would scream the words to ATT songs. I don't know why it stands out so much in my mind. And then to think about the time we had that sleepover. It all seems so far apart and distant and so close. Time is so dumb sometimes.