I watched John Green's livestream show earlier today. It was, as usual, plenty of fun. But one thing that he was talking about really fits with a large portion of my life. While explaining what exactly Will Grayson, Will Grayson is about, he touch on one of the major flaws of United States (and a lot of the world) culture: the importance people place in romantic love. People install in others this belief that you're not complete if you don't have a significant other. I agree with the flaw-y-ness of this. But then his friend Chris randomly called him. He hung up and was like, "Man, I love that guy." And then defended it saying obviously not in a gay way but in a best friend way. He then started talking about how the relationships that you have with everyone in your life are the important ones. Not searching for one person to make you complete. I whole-heartedly believe this, straight down to my core. Yes, I wouldn't mind having a boy. Sometimes I really wish I did. But I do not need one to complete me. I have always tried to be about the important people in my life, especially for the last year of my life. Sometimes I have a conversation with someone, or an encounter, or a moment, and afterwards I just go, "Wow, I love insert person so much." And it's enough.
I feel this was perfect timing for the first installment of the People I Love days. It doesn't require any thought for me to know who these people are, just what I want to say about them and who to write about on which days. I am going to start with my friends because my family is going to to have one large post. First up, Christina Deborah Gregory. It strikes me as irksome that it was blogging that made me lose her that one time. It almost makes me never want to write about her. Not that I think it's going to happen again, but because it reminds me how writing can come back to bite you in the ass.
But that's what everything else in the world has the potential to do too. Another thing that hit me recently is how long we really have been friends. We're pushing six years, which is a goddamn record for anyone in my life. I have never had one person who I have so easily been able to share things with. Not so much verbally (because everyone knows how willing I am to talk) but in experiences. In a list of days I will never forget, she would be involved or present for at least half of them. A lot of that has to do with the fact that we like so many of the same things; whether by chance or just by shaping each other. But some of it has to do with the sheer fact that she's willing to do things with me, and be there for me, even when I make no sense at all.
She's the only person who lets me talk and talk and talk. Even though I don't think she likes it at all because she thinks it means I'm not listening to her. But I do, you know, try. All in all, I think she has taught me a lot about what it means to love. Plenty of that has to do with that sometimes I feel like I have to love her double; my love for her and love for herself. I get scared for her sometimes. But my new thing is having to believe that love is enough. I have run out of everything else. All I have to give any of these people I am going to write about is my love.
Days 'til school's over : 26
HP books this semester: 3
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