puppy.

Oh it's you. I almost forgot. I have 24 minutes. People I love. Today is Sean Kennedy (stupid no middle name). Well, out of all the people in my life Sean and I definately have the most bipolar past. It's weird, like I was saying the other day, how time plays with my mind. Sometimes, I can't believe where I am, and how things turned out in my life. He was just the boy I got assigned to sit next to in Algebra II. The cute boy with the silly hair. And then he was in this new band that one of my only friends was in. And then it all just sort of happened. My life, I mean. I liked him soso much. But really only ever in the school girl, paulofcharsky kind of way. But he was such an asshole to me. That still hurts, even if you don't love someone. He completely disappeared that first summer. One of the first times I saw him was as I left Cree's house on the day our fight started.

Alll of a sudden we were okay, Sean and I. I remember going to a show at metro with a bunch of people one day in September and thinking, "How can this be okay, how can I just be friends with him when he didn't talk to be all summer?" I am well aware of the fact that he more than likely legitamately disliked me my junior year. I was so obnoxious and annoying and GAHHH why did anyone ever talk to me?

Then that fateful day came. Halloween. I don't even know what happened. I didn't then and I don't now. It wasn't just him. It was that he embodied everything I hated about myself at the time. The things and times I had lost. Then I lost him again. And I don't even want to talk about the next part.

But as the year went on, and "the spot" formed, things got better. All leading up the that silly night with him and Larry that lead to Philly. And then prom. Which wasn't one of the shining moments in our history, but I'm still happy it happened.

In the end, it's strange how much I honestly feel like he's my brother. Because sometimes he's there and sometimes he's not. Because no one beats the crap out of me like he does. And because I love him, in the most sisterly way. I just want to lay around and watch TV with him at night after he gets home from swimming. I want the best for him even if it isn't the best for everyone.

Life is just too strange for me today. The way everything happens.

Days 'Til Schools Over: 17